Deter the display of inadequacy

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Deter the display of inadequacy. Your child may have given up. She feels inadequate or less than, and she communicates this by displaying an I-can’t-do-it attitude. If you feel hopeless and notice yourself enabling your child, then this might be the goal of her misbehavior.

  • Stop trying so hard to convince your child that she is good enough. Point out her successes by just stating what you see; for example: “You worked hard on that, and then you got it right.” Do this a lot!
  • Break up tasks to make them simpler so your child can succeed.
  • Praise effort instead of results.

Sounds simple, right? When you identify your child’s goal of misbehavior, you are able to change the pattern of your interactions. You can respond to your child’s needs in a way that disproves her negative beliefs and strengthens positive thoughts. As a result, your child’s behavior improves, you feel annoyed less often, you experience pleasant feelings toward your child, and that hopeless feeling of “this will never change” slowly dissipates.

The source of this tip is richmondfamilymagazine.com (July 2015). #TableTalk